Friday, April 30, 2010

It's Betties Q & A Day!

Happy, wonderful, delicious Friday, Betty-lovers. It's time for another installment of our infamous advice column, and damn, have we got something for you. Seriously, I don't know where we dig up these people, but of course we never reveal our sources or tell people that they're freaks. (Unless they're really freaky). Send us your questions/concerns/comments/favourite sexual positions to and we'll get back to you, anonymously, right here each week. Let us get on with the business of telling you how things are.

Dear Betties,

My girlfriend is really wild in bed, but last week she surprised me by putting her finger in my asshole and I have never cum so hard in my life. I want her to do it again, but I don't want to admit that I liked it. I've never been attracted to guys, but since I did really like ass play, am I gay?

-Back Door Guy-

Twills Says,

Dear Anal Lover,

Let's see...  Your girlfriend, by definition, is a girl, n'est-ce pas?  Not a dude dressed as a girl?  Does she have soft skin and dainty hands?  Does she have *gasp* a vagina?  Because I'm going out on a limb with this one... that unless your girlfriend is a guy, then you're not gay.  You just like it when she milks your prostate, which is entirely natural and though I have no prostate of my own, I'm sure is quite pleasurable.   Just unclench your butt cheeks and submit.  And don't be such a frigging baby!

That's all,



Pina says,

I'm with Twills on this one. If what you have on your hands is really a woman, than you should really have no problem.
Do some experimenting. If you liked the little bit of ass play, perhaps you and your gal should experiment a little bit more. Check out a sex store together, read some erotica to each other, learn what else you like. There's a whole lot of sex to be had out there, and while finding out what you like, you can totally enjoy yourself along the way.
(I suggest starting out with some small anal beads)

Good luck and enjoy!

Readers, join in and help our friend out, maybe by sharing some of your funkier sexcapades!

Well gentle friends, here ends another fun and fulfilling Friday. Remember, send us your questions to, and we will give you the solution to your problems, or maybe just a good old talking to if you're doing what you shouldn't be.

The Betties

XOX(definitely no touching)

*Twills edit:  Pina, how we gonna get all up on them if we don't touch them?


  1. There's a reason I don't publicize my sexcapades. They're just not that interesting.

    As for Captain Cornhole, unless you want to suck on another man's balls or wish to have a cock in your ass, you don't have to worry about catching the "gayness". But so what if you did? I don't think gay guys wake up in a cold sweat wondering if they're straight because they just had a hot dream about a woman or two. "Holy crap! I think I might like pussy!" Yeah, I don't think you hear that one often. Not in a distressful tone, anyway.

  2. Does any gay man ever dream about pussy?
    I think the Betties should attempt to find out the answer to that by polling our massive gay audience.

  3. I once had a gay boyfriend and he did not like the pussy. But man he could go for a long time. He came out after the break-up.

  4. Yeah, pussy! I love it when women say "pussy", too. I would be gay just so I can dream about it for this survey... except I'm too busy thinking about it already. (Do I need help? Or maybe just pussy. Looks like another cold shower for me tonight...)

  5. I'm so ashamed right now.

  6. Ha! Look what happens in here when I go out for the day! You people bring the lolz. I'll ask a gay if they ever think about the poon next time I see one. I'll have to get back to you on that.

  7. Yeah, Twills, call up your best gay and get the question answered.


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