So I read this post yesterday: LINK! It reminded me of some of the kinds of people that I hate. I hate people who drive minivans. The "regular moms" with the mom jeans and the Katie Holmes haircuts, they suck. I once received a Facebook message from Blunt Force Mama that said, "I'm surrounded by regular moms! Halp!" And it does feel exactly like that. The hot moms, the kooky moms, the artsy yoga-hippie-granola-hemp moms, the moms who don't do vanilla, we're persecuted. We are one in a million! We've gotta rise up!
Every day I'm nearly run over by regular moms in their minivans because they don't know how to back them up. These bitches suck. This has got to stop! If you need a giant vehicle just because Bobby and Greg can't sit next to Marcia or Cindy without pulling their hair or tweaking their nipples...
Wait? Where did that come from? Gawd!
Anyhow, you don't need a giant gas guzzling minivan unless you have four kids or more. You can cram three of them into a Honda Civic. Seriously, I know this. This is what we do up in here, and it works. You don't need to drive a minivan, and you most certainly don't need this shit on the back window, unless you suck:
Even the fucking cat made an appearance.
Don't you even try to pretend like this is not a minivan:
That's a fucking minivan, folks. And you know you suck. Now tell me, Betty Lovers. Why do people that drive minivans suck so much ass?
*Don't forget to send in your questions for Q & A Friday to firstname.lastname@example.org. We need them by tonight if we're going to be able to help your asses, or help you score some ass... or whatever you want from us. Because you know you want us. ;)