Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Betties' Q & A Day!

Welcome, readers.  You really have been doing quite well on your homework assignments, friends.  The Betties have received so many questions to lately, that Twills has had to take a short break from pwning n00bs, Muffin hasn't been spending enough time at the beach and her tan is fading, and Pina hasn't been down to the docks all week.  Keep them coming, it's for our own good.  Now on to the action:

Dear Betties,

I am finding myself recently separated and seeking a divorce. Although there is a very good reason for the parting of ways, a deal breaker so to speak, I find that I am grateful it is "all his fault".  I'm actually happy that our relationship has failed! I'm excited that its over after 23 years and have no sadness about not being married. I know I shouldn't be excited, right? I don't want anyone especially the dead weight I just dumped to think I want my marriage to work, quite the opposite.  I just think I shouldn't be so relieved that it's over and after so long! Am I crazy?


Freedom Fighter

Twills says,

Dear Freedom Fighter,

You're not crazy.  You've been with the same man for so many years, it's time to bust loose.  Live a little.  Go skydiving.  Pierce your nipples.  Go out to bars and bed incredibly young men.  Though pay strict attention to Gay Math when you're first starting out; you wouldn't want to go too wild right at the beginning and burn out to early.  New found freedom is a precious thing.  Start out slowly and savour it.

Dear Freedom,
You're not Crazy! Now thats not to say you wont ever become crazy! When I went from Husband one to single I was really OK....for about 5 months, then things started happening, Life got hard, lonely, He Got a girlfriend....Then I got crazy... Like anything in life there is a cycle to endings and beginnings, Stay Milfy, dont ever do Hot Yoga, and you will get through the next phase just fine! Good Luck and Keep on Keeping on Sista!
~Muffins Hunka was a Freedom Fighter!

Dear Betties,

I am a Lesbian, I only say that because I feel it's important to the post. I would prefer you not talk to me about dicks and such. My "wife" wants sex more frequently than I, and there are issues with my feeling special enough to become intimate. This is completely my problem, I've seen shrinks and Ive been told in past relationships that it's exhausting and that I'm high maintenance. I don't want to be alone and old and a cat lady. (No offense to The Bettie with cats) Is it really just me? Don't other people have the same issue? I don't think I was ever abused as a child.  Other than thinking I was weird as a teenager for not liking "the cutest" boy in school, I was pretty normal. I dated a few guys in high school, I never went any further then 1st base. I've also never had intercourse with a guy. I just wasn't aroused unless I was really stoned or drinking to even do much more than kissing. I would prefer to be intimate with my wife sober, I think she might not like me drunk or smoking pot just to have sex. What to Do?

Frigid in the South Pole

Twills says,

Dear South Pole,

Take it from me, I live with a sex fiend.  The Dilf would is all up on my business all hours of the day and night to the point where our kids are always yelling out, "Don't go in the kitchen!  Mom and Dad are totally making out!"  *Huzzah!*  I sometimes prefer sleep; it's true!  I'm not a machine, people!  My uterus is at rest!  I feel your pain, believe me, I do.   Have you ever been checked out by a physician in regards to your hormones, etc?  A low sex drive is completely normal, and reversible.  It has nothing to do with whether you prefer the poon or the peen.   I know these things, because as I always say, I'm about 48% gay.

However, I wonder if you're feeling enough of an emotional connection?  We women are complex creatures, as you well know.   It doesn't take much for us to get turned off, though you're lucky that you probably don't have to put up with things like farting, b.o. or gnarly toenails.  I hope?   

Dear Frigid,
What makes you feel special? Is it a long hot bubble bath complete body massage and then some lovin? (Hint Hint Hint Hunka!) I would not ever advocate drunken or stoner sex, but if a glass of wine helps take the edge off of your tense~ness, well...until you can make that doctors appointment for Valium, Viagra, or Vitamin Shots....consider this, If your ex's think you are too high maintenance to stick with, and you have already said its You and Not Your Wife....Next step is Fixing it or its Cats ville for you baby!! Cuz although Bettie with the Cats has Cats she also has Dock workers and Sailors that find her worthwhile! I know that the more "uptight" you become the less easy it will be for you to relax! Good Luck!
~Muffin likes scented Bubbles!

Well Pina took the week off again, new fleet at the Docks or some shizzzzzz, I hear one of her Cats are about to drop a until next week...Chin up, shoulders back, and chest out!

Kisses From The Bettie's


  1. Bwahahahaa!!!!!! She's such a wharf doxy!

  2. Listen a Bettie's Gotta DO What A Bettie Must!

  3. It appears I am Davenport Florida!

  4. Today, at least. T hasn't been here, he's St. Pete's. (Ignore the feedjit on Anonymous Monday's people!)

    Damn, it's quiet in here. I'll have you know that Pina has actually been answering the questions, and blogger has been eating them. It ate Muff's last week as well, right?

  5. It did eat my Post! I can now read the blog from my cracky but, it wont let me talky! Wahhhhh! QQ!

  6. I don't really know what to make of these two. One woman feels guilty because she's too eager to move on with her life, and the other feels guilty that her personal hangups are affecting her sexual relationship with her "partner" (Go lesbos!). I just can't help thinking that if they were men, these topics would never have come up in a conversation like this. But then again, maybe I'm just feeling oddly bitter after being dumped from a 9+ year relationship. (Go loser!)

  7. You guys got jobbed. Both questions are from the same person. I'm just mystified how my ex found this blog.

  8. You boys will always have The Betties in your corner. :)

  9. You ex goggled Hot Single Sex Goddess and Voila she found us!

    You no male readership we answer dude questions too! I think you might be right Loum! Two Guys having these conversations....Not often to take place!


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