Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Meet Your Betties: Twills Edition

I first met The Muffin on MySpace, many moons ago.  I was either knocked up for the third time, or delirious with lack of sleep because the baby had not slept through the night in... well, how old is he now?  Nearly three? Well yes, then three years.  He hasn't slept through the night in three years.  That explains why I'm kind of loopy then, no?

I seem to recall her having something to do with winning a goat.  I still to this day have no recollection of her ever having taken delivery of the beast, but if she did I think she'd dance naked in a forest and sacrifice it, since she's a witch.  A real one!  *cue ominous sounding music*

The first blog that I read of hers was because our mutual friend Louminator, (who I met through Deb, who was my first and best MySpace friend) had pimped a blog that she'd written.  What was this blog about?  Well, she'd been married at that time for about a month or two, and decided that it was a good time to start sharing her wisdom with others on how to have a successful marriage.  I knew then that she was my kind of broad, and we've had each other's back ever since.

When Muffin is not busy buying and selling the state of Florida as if it's some giant Monopoly board, she's a famous radio personality on the AM dial.  In her spare time she enjoys doing hot yoga, texting people constantly on her CrackBerry, and soaking up her husband Hunka's burning love.

Pina and I had a few of the same MySpace friends, but we didn't friend each other there until I had actually stopped writing in that venue.  Too many creeps up in there, but I'd decided that Pina wasn't one of them.  We agreed long ago that we wouldn't talk about whose blogs we'd seen each other on because it was too much like gossip, but if you want to read our favourite one, click here.

Pina is a west coast Canadian girl, and has a west coast accent.  You already know that she has tons of cats, but what you didn't know is that her cats are hookers.  They get knocked up more than I do, and Pina encourages this behaviour so she can raise a cat army which only responds to her command.  Look out, West Coast.  Pina's Pussies are vicious.  

It doesn't help that while she has a tough exterior, she is soft on the inside (look DEEP, people) and the neighbourhood cats prey on this.  They all congregate near Pina's place and meow at each other about how she'll take in even the scrawniest, most feral cat and treat it like a princess.  There is no end to the lavish attention she gives them, so they know that any pregnant pussy can camp out at Pina's until such a time as she's ready to drop her litter and start hustin' for more tail again.  Sluts!

When Pina is not busy breeding a mutant cat army, you can find her... well, online of course.  That's because she is the only person who is online more than me, and who also sleeps less than me.  Somehow we've developed a Psychic Betty Connection which enables us to say the exact same thing at the exact same time, which is actually quite creepy at times with us stomping all over one another's brain.

As for the fourth Betty, who knows?  Maybe she doesn't exist.  Maybe she's a guest Betty.  Maybe the fourth Betty is you, our audience.  Because don't we all have a little bit of a Betty inside of us?  Think of the options:  Betties White, Page, Boop, Rubble (The original Milf), Grable, Ford, Crocker, (and Veronica: but I have to admit, I'm a Veronica in this one), Draper, Suarez, Rizzo, Ross, Davis, and Atomic Betty.  So many great role models to choose from, one can not help but want to explore their inner Betty.

That's all,




  1. Thanks for another great introduction!!

  2. Did Besty Ross actually go by Betty?
    How kind of you, to mention my Goat...I'll have to tell you how the Goat Roast actually turned out! I thought you liked me because Muffins look like Cupcakes and You're the cupcake queen! Mandy Blogs longer then me...Just sayin is all!

  3. I have to comment on the “classification of Witch" As last I checked we were not technically calling ourselves Witches... BITCHES YES... WITCHES NOT SO MUCH

    Witch is a title, One by definition we did not help decipher.
    " FROM WEBSTER ~Most often taken by a solitary type (No solitary types in this family... we are forever together~ Hello there are 7 sisters total and when we are unable to be together we improvise and tend to have everyone else we know around as well) individual who SUPPOSEDLY practicing the black arts ( NEVER!! I prefer GREEN and Brandie is both White and Green and Barbra is CRAFTED OF ALL LIGHTS AND COLORS, VERY HANDY SHE IS..That’s just three of us..Didn’t want to bore you here with the other 4….. one supposed to possess supernatural powers (If this were the case I/we/she would cure poverty, settle all wars and raise the dead... there are a few people we miss.) especially by compact with the devil...(DOES ONE OF THOSE EXIST? I haven't met him/her …DAMN CHRISTIANS, they can create some interesting bed fellows, and to think he has horns and a pointed tail...INDEED~ fascinating) or a familiar (KNOW any great women/ man is going to have a few familiars... if you are good at your gifted talents you’re bound to have some followers...I hear Hunka HUSBAND IS TALENTED IN DEED...OH!!!!..)
    Basically what I am trying to say here is this...
    Witch is a word~ not a way of life and we are more inclined to NOT CALL OURSELVES ANYTHING BUT OUR NAMES...As we have learned a long time ago…WE ARE NO ONES PARLOR TRICKS!!

    Blessed be my sisters~ May the gifts of the Goddess be yours for the taking~ she gives freely and with out intent...

  4. Wow we found a guest Bettie! LOL at Parlor Trick, and we are 7! Thats a very lucky number indeed! Now why'd you have to go criticize the Christian fan? I often use the excuse the Devil made me do it! Muahahahhahahahhahahahha

  5. Ha ha! You tell em, girl. I used the word "witch" for fun... not because I don't know or because I was trying to be offensive. But of course we have readers that need to know these things. And all of you? Seriously? That's so cool. My sister only pretends to be interested in the Buddha once in a while.

  6. Ha ha! You must try harder to convert them!

  7. Thanks, hooker. You have made me sound like a freak and Brandy like a sweetie. (well, except for the witchy goat thing)

  8. No, you're a soft hearted, squishy cat lover. They flock to you because they know you'll take them in even though they're vile and not to be trusted.

    *dog person*

  9. Pina I thin k yoou are perfectly sweet ~ I too am a cat fan I think they are wonderful, full of personality and alot of attitude!!! My kind of creature~
    Brandie's not so sweet .... NOT SO SWEET TO THE KITTIES EITHER she would wreck her car to
    run one over......(CAN WE SAY HATE MAIL COMING.~ ANY MAIL IS GOOD MAIL).....
    She prefers to run with the big dogs....

    Muffin about that GOAT.....

  10. Please tell me that she danced naked with the goat.

  11. Wrong Sister for naked goat dancing!! I'm the small town farm girl with the cravings for Naked barn yard dancing!!
    She Prefers moon lite trysts with sea nymphs

  12. Ok. Maybe I don't sound THAT crazy(compared to the Muffin family secrets that came out here) B, you would swerve to hit a cat???.Boo to you. And besides, I only have 4 cats, and ONE not all, is pregnant. Granted she is semi-feral and the one time I did get a hold of her, she almost gutted me with her razor claws. But everyone and everything needs love. Even goats, right B?

  13. Oh, she has been loving up on the goats. I get it now. That's what she did with it.

  14. I am dying with laughter here!!!


We love your comments!!