Friday, March 19, 2010

Betties Q & A Day!

Hello there, readers, and welcome to another fun-filled edition of the Betties' Advice Blog.  I'm not much into foreplay, so let us just jump right into the thick of things here with our first question:

Dear Betties,

What's up with the "pornstache" that is popping up on the upper lip of the men in my neighborhood?  Is this something new Brad Pitt is sporting?  Do tell!  Is it the latest trend in facial hair for men?


Hating the Facial Pubes

Muffin Says:

Dear Hating,
Hate is such a strong word....I think the Facial Hair you dub as the Porn Stache is a multi purpose tool that we can put to good use! Its a great exfoliating tool...It becomes a Flavor Savor, and If you are Colonial Sanders or Magnum PI its a trade mark!

The Muffin has yet to be witness to this new phenomenon in male fashion, Perhaps Daytona is not quite hip to the times! I will make a point to photo upload these to my FB page as I encounter them though!
Still Love the Goatee ~Muffin

Twills Says:

Anyone who sports a pornstache is likely either a) stuck in the seventies; or b) a hipster.  If this person is a hipster and has a pornstache, it is likely that the only reason why is because that dude thinks he's way cooler than you.  Than anyone.  He seems to think that he's rocking it with irony, and that's he's just so special that no one else will "get" what he's trying to do.  In reality we all know that he just looks like a total douchebag.

There is another instance where it might be acceptable.  Personal story here:  When I first met the DILF, oh it was magic.  Until I saw his driver's license photo!  OMG!  He was rocking the pornstache! This was in the year 2000, not when it had suddenly come back into vogue.  The story was, he had shaved off his winter beard and had gone in to town with that on his face as a joke.  He was renewing his driver's license that day because it was his birthday, but didn't realise that he'd need a picture taken.  He told the woman at the office that he didn't really look like that, but she didn't care.  (She's well known for being a crusty bitch in our area)  She snapped the photo anyway, and for the next five years he had to have a flaming red pornstache on his License.  So if you want to give them the benefit of the doubt, it might be just a one time thing and you've happened to spot them?

(I still think it's because they think that they're cooler than you)




Question Two!  Almost there!

Dear Betties,
My cousin has been trying to fix me up on a blind date with a friend of hers. I was interested at first because he has a good job and we are into the same kinds of things. But then last week, right before we were about to finalize some plans, she told me that he is renown for having huge balls. Now I'm really grossed out and don't want to meet him, but she thinks I'm being too picky. What do you think?


Small Baller

Dear SB
Well that depends...Would you prefer a man with a set of ping pongs? I am not sure, what if the size of his Balls correlated with the size of his wallet... you would still complain? Listen I think its important to all kinds of things that your man as well as you have a set (figuratively speaking for you anyway unless you actually do have a set, then I think its important that you both determine who's are bigger! Someone must be the decision maker!) and as far as I am concerned Bigger anything is always better!(yes, this includes everything!)
Now if he is picking them up to sit down, I might be a little concerned but not enough to not go to dinner! Perhaps you should dig deep, find your own, and order dessert first!

Do let us know how it goes!

~Muffins got the biggest Balls of them all!

Twills Says:

Dear Baller,

Run!  If giant balls freak you out and you don't think you can get over it, don't date him.  If they're giant and freakish now, what do you think they'll look like when they're old and wrinkled?  There are plenty of fish in the sea, and if you are looking for Mr. Right, and Mr. Right has average sized balls, then you would be wasting your time with Mr. Giant Balls.  And seriously, how the fuck does SHE know that he has huge balls, huh?  Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and it might be the tuna.

Investigate this please,



Where's Pina, you say?  She's still not recovered from a botched boob job she got last week.  Just don't tell her that she looks like Tara Reid, please.  She's sensitive and she'd like to stay that way.

Until next week, 

Your Betties

XOXO, for inquiries or for a good time. ;)


  1. Yeah. How DOES the cousin know about the ball thing? And why on earth would it be an issue for a first date? It's not like you're going to be sitting on them... are you?

  2. There might be a tea bag issue later, but other than that I don't really see how it could be a problem. Turn off the lights if you don't want to see them.

  3. I never even gave the cousin having knowledge a thought until now! We know that girls talk...So gents, Big or Small we know in advance!

  4. At lest there are only 2 balls. Imagine if the problem was 3 balls. Give the guy a chance. If you do have him back for "coffee" just keep them out for your mouth, you might choke.

  5. Dear Anonymous....Perhaps You should submit a question to Perhaps testi-fetish is something of interest or of curiosity!

  6. Send ALL your questions to us!!


We love your comments!!