Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Wednesdays: Why People Suck

The weather is warming up in my part of Canada.  This is a really long process it seems, but we're getting there, finally.  I tend to dress in layers.  Tank, shirt, sweater, jacket... that sort of deal.  You need to do this, because you never know when you're going to start sweating, or when you'll catch a cool breeze and the headlights come on.  What?  It happens!

Since the mornings are still so cold and the afternoons are sometimes sweltering, you do run the risk of breaking out into a sweat before you even realise that you need to remove a layer, however.  You've got to watch out for that because no one wants a Milf with sweaty armpits!  Decidedly not hot.

There is always that one asshole though.  The kind of asshole who will look at your Milfy flop-proof outfit, and that asshole will say, "Aren't you hot?"  Asshole, who the fuck cares?  Of course I'm *hot*, though not temperature-wise.  I am fucking vampire, okay?  I'm a lizard!  I have Renaud's Disease!  I'm perpetually cold and it matches well with my cold, black heart you fecking eejit!  I was a cutter and my arms are ugly from the scars!  I have tattoos and I'm on the way to the nursing home!  My body does not contain fully-oxygenated blood and I have bad circulation combined with low blood pressure!  I don't feel like taking this jacket off because it's new and it defines my waist nicely and makes me look thinner!  Plus I spilled mustard on my boobs at lunch.

Pick one or more of the above.  Does it matter to you if I'm feeling warm in my clothing?  It is none of your damned business if I'm hot.  Or cold.  Or full of chicken pox!

It's Wednesday, and on Wednesdays we tell the truth.  People who ask other people whether or not they are hot?  They suck.  Tell me, minions.  Who sucks?

That's all,




  1. Well, at least that explains why that line never got me laid.

  2. I'm sure it would have a different effect for you. ;)

  3. It's so humid where I live now, I'm actually marinating in my shorts.

  4. I beg to differ about milfs with sweaty armpits. Bring 'em on I say. If I want plastic women I'll move to Stepford, or simply arrange a date with one of my inflatable girlfriends.

    It's always too hot. There's a "farm" near me, really nothing more than a tiny little tourist stop -- this is New Jersey, remember, we grow some corn and tomatoes but mostly condos and smokestacks and suburban assholes -- and there's a bison there. I'll say that again. A bison. In New Jersey. In the winter I drive by and it's standing in snow, but I swear I can hear it thinking "It's still too hot." That's me. It's too hot. And your layers are killing me. Which makes you a murderer. So there.

  5. You people just want me to dress sluttier, don't you? I admit, it would solve a lot of problems.

  6. I need to layer because the men or should I say pigs that I work with feel the need to point out when when ever my headlights come on. Sorry asshole I nursed 3 kids they aren't as little as they used to be.

  7. I'm sure they would find it really hilarious if you complained to the superiors about sexual harassment. I'm glad they're not armed with packages of ribs.


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