Thursday, May 13, 2010

Betties Q & A

Happy Friday!D  No foreplay today, we'll proceed right to the main event.  You send us your questions to, and we answer them here on Fridays.  Keep the mail coming!  We like your feedback as much as we like your comments each week.

Dear Betties,

OMG!  I just caught my neighbour's kid making out in the back yard...  She's 14!!!!!  Should I tell?..... Every teenager sneaks out, right?  


Nosy Parker

Twills Says:

Dear Nosy Bitch,

Lighten up!  As long as it seems like she's consenting then there's not an issue.  If they were fucking in the back yard, then perhaps I'd say something, even though it would still be none of my business.  If you turn her in now then you're kind of an asshole.  Don't you remember what it was like to be 14?  Leave the poor girl alone!

Pina says:
I'm with Twills on this one. Unless the girl was making out with your husband or the family dog, why are you watching anyhow? How do you know her parents don't already know?Basically, this is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS and no one likes a nosy twat for a neighbour.

Dear Betties,

My husband and I have been married for 15 yrs now, and I am starting to feel like the marriage is slipping.  We don't do things together anymore; we hardly talk and we never make love more than once a month.  I am still in love with him and want to save my marriage; what should I do?



Twills says:

Dear Stale,

Try telling him the truth about how you feel.  Obviously you've been together a long ass time, you should be able to tell him anything at this point without fear.  I'm sure that if he were aware of how you are feeling, you could both take active steps to improve your relationship and to reconnect on a different level.

Whoa!  Look at me with the grown up advice!  If that doesn't work, offer to swing.  I'm pretty sure watching you fuck his best friend while he fucks your best friend would bring the spice back into the relationship real fast.

Pina says:
Dear Stale;
Communication is key in this issue. If you have been married for 15 (I am assuming good) years, than you should be able to tell him how you feel, see how he is feeling, and perhaps talk about what you can do as a couple to improve each others feelings on the whole subject..
Of course there is always the chance that it is over for him, he's doing his secretary, and he just hasn't had the balls to tell you. If that is the case, get yourself a good lawyer and take the cheating bastard for everything you can.

Well, here endeth another week of sage advice from The Betties. You may ask what qualifies us to give anyone advice and here's why- it has happened to us. All of it.
We have been cheated on, lied to and may have been on the bad guy side of some issues. So, we feel with all our life experience, we can give good, honest advice.
Don't dig the advice? What are you still reading for anyhow?
Until the next batch of questions comes in to, try to play nice with each other and we will be back next week with more extremely helpful advice.

The Betties

XOXO (You could lose an eye trying to touch us)


  1. Remarkably good advice to everyone. You guys are slipping.

  2. I know! What's with the sudden maturity here? Have I lost my bitch? My precious snark? I hope not.

  3. We need more questions that allow us to show our true sides. So write in, minions!!
    Write about you. Write about your Aunt, write about your neighbour! Who cares if it's none of your or our business.
    You want sarcasm in true Bettie form?? Get us some fucking mail!

  4. I could make something up that I KNOW are just going to make their way eventually. Example:

    Dear Betties,

    My cock is too big for my girlfriend's tight vag. What should I do?


    I have lots of sex with lots of people, but I don't want to be called a slut. What should I do?


    I'm in love with two Betties, but I can't decide which one to stalk then molest. What should I do?

    Of course, maybe you just need more minions. I recommend a guest blog or co-blog with someone who has lots of readers and maybe a shiny JPEG award. I know a few out there...

  5. Oh to be 14 again.Nosy parker needs to piss of and let that girl have her make out sessions in the back yard. For it all to be so new again. As for the honey with the lack of a sex life, spice it up.

  6. Or Lou, you could mail them to *ahem* Men only follow instructions when they think they'll get something out of it. Hmph.

    I'd stalk Pina if I were you. But I warn you, she bites.

    Yes anonymous, when you're 14 you should be able to make out in the back yard without your neighbours getting off on it. And perhaps the lack of sex woman should read our blog more often and follow the advice on "How to be Milfy".

  7. Or she could be a nosy neighbour and get tips from watching the 14 year old.
    Loved "How to be a Milfy" by the way.

  8. Ok. Pretend I just emailed them to you while I grab a beer and watch some sports program on the TV.

  9. Thank you Daisy!

    Furthermore, Lou... How many questions have we done where the person was asking us if they were a slut? If you have to ask, yes you are; but it's not a problem! (And please call Louminator if you would like to explore your condition to its fullest)

  10. Yes, I know you get those questions. I'm sure you'll keep getting more. I was being... brace yourself... sarcastic! It's my thing.

    Oh, and thanks for the referral! I'm here to help. :)


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