Here's how this works. You leave us a comment as "Anonymous". You can say anything you want: You have webbed feet. You're attracted to transvestites. You are secretly in love with one of The Betties. No one will ever know it's you.
Party in the comments!
Go!
Happy Friday, Gentle Readers. Though not too gentle, please, because you know The Betties like it rough. *rawr* Welcome to another fantasmic edition of The Betties Advice Blog. What we need our adoring public to do, is send us your questions to: laynie2@gmail.com. Then we will answer them right here on Fridays if we deem them worthy of our attention.
This week we have an offering from someone who doesn't necessarily have relationship trouble, just someone who wants to know what we think about something. Which is great because us Betties are known for speaking our minds.
Dear Betties,
I want to know why you think heterosexual men are attracted to transexual or transgendered individuals, who are now female.
Signed,
TransWondered
Twills Says:
Dear TransWonderful,
I think what we need to do first, is to define our terms. Wikipedia helped me plagiarize this:
Transvestite: Transvestism (also called transvestitism) is the practice of cross-dressing, which is wearing the clothing of the opposite sex.
Transgendered: Transgender is the state of one's "gender identity" (self-identification as woman, man, neither or both) not matching one's "assigned sex" (identification by others as male or female based on physical/genetic sex). "Transgender" does not imply any specific form of sexual orientation; transgender people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, or asexual; some may consider conventional sexual orientation labels inadequate or inapplicable to them. The precise definition for transgender remains in flux, but includes:
"Of, relating to, or designating a person whose identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender roles, but combines or moves between these."[1]
"People who were assigned a sex, usually at birth and based on their genitals, but who feel that this is a false or incomplete description of themselves."[2]
"Non-identification with, or non-presentation as, the sex (and assumed gender) one was assigned at birth."[3]
So, now that we've cleared that up, I think that straight dudes could possibly be attracted to hot trannies because once you've become enough of a man-whore, you need to branch out. If one were to keep an open mind about such things, one could reach epic realms of sluttiness! Think of the possibilities! Not only would you broaden your fuckability to include chicks, but dudes who look like chicks/have recently become chicks/people with no clear gender at all! There is actually a proper term to describe this phenomena:
Pansexuality is a sexual orientation, characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire towards people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. The word pansexual is derived from the Greek prefix pan-, meaning "all". It is intended to negate the idea of two genders (as expressed by bi-).
There you have it. It takes all kinds. Lesson of the day: Broaden your mind and your loins will follow.
That's all,
Twills
XOXO
What is this? The other two Betties are absent? That's because Pina is too busy down at the wharves, trying to get sailors to barter their chewing gum and nylons for her services. Where is the Muffin, you say? She went back to Hot Yoga, and now she can't get her foot down from behind her head. While Hunka is excited, it makes it difficult for her to function in every day life.
With that, let us leave you with a song. Until next week, bitches and trannylicious alike.
Our Third: Char- Who are you? Do you even exist? 
I heard a rumor you live in the Sunshine State...me too Bitch, we should do lunch or some shizzzzzz!
and the Fourth-Me!... Muffin!...Bransfun!...Bransalicious!... Yours Truly!...The Unofficial Mayor of Yoville....
I'm simply Fabulous as you all already know and I'm Wicked with my keyboard!
XO Muffin says~ Bring it Betties!
It's time, people. It's time for you to start commenting. Now I know that we are narcissistic enough to just keep on blogging without caring what the fuck you people think of us. However, our egos are taking a slight dent (I said slight, don't get all crazy assed) because we keep writing, and you people don't say anything about it! Well, most of you. We do have our loyal victims... I mean... commenters that make our day a hell of a lot brighter; and thank you for that.
We're only here for you, gentle readers! Even the people who write in with advice don't even comment to tell us if they like the advice or not. Rude! After all the trouble we go through to bring the snark and the lolz to you people, you'd think you could as least comment once in a while with a "Heh" or a "Kudos" or even a "Who the fuck do you bitches think you are?" sort of deal. I would even be happy with a little annoying smiley! ;)
I've been inspired lately by this: LINK! This chick holds an Anonymous Monday on her blog, and we need one here. We're going to give you a chance, one chance to redeem yourselves for your silence. Comment on this blog as anonymous. For those trolls and lurkers who don't know, click on "Comments" below. Then you use your keyboard to type characters into the big white box. See that box? You can't miss it. Then you use your mouse to click on that little arrow-thingy that points down. You see that? Okay. So click on that, then there's a bunch of mumbo-jumbo down there. Click on "Anonymous". It's at the bottom! Then use your mouse again to click on the button that says, "Post Comment". Trust me, it will work. For real. You have just made your first comment! Aren't you computer savvy!
We quite often will comment back to you, or someone else will. Then you can check back later, or if you're me, completely fucking stalk the eff out of the blog until someone does write something that you can respond to. It will open a dialogue, thus making The Betties' blogging experience more fulfilling, and thereby making yours more fulfilling in turn. A happy blogger is a comment-heavy blogger.
Today's theme:
What can The Betties do to improve the blog, to make it more enticing for you, the reader?
Discuss. (And when I say 'Discuss', I fucking mean 'DISCUSS, DAMMIT!' in the comment section).
That's all,
Twills
XOXO
Should I begin to compile my Bucket List? 
Will the World End 12/12/12?
Having had, my Grandmother, my Aunt and my friend, all given the news of a terminal illness...and a knowledge of their time for passing being so near, I am amazed at the grace with which they each faced it. As strong as I think I am, I begin to wonder... am I really all that strong? Would I ride a Bull if I thought I only had a limited time left? My Aunt Wrote letters, My Grandmother Spent time with each of her Grandchildren individually, and Im not sure what Brian did for his Family or Children individually, but for his friends he did give and make special time. And when your time is limited as each of theirs was, you realize there is no more precious of a gift then the time that they shared! See... even now with all that looming in my head, and as depressing as it all seems, I find myself wanting to crack a joke! I want to shake my fist at fate and say "Fuck You!" I firmly believe that I am who I choose to be, I am the keeper of my dreams and the do-er of my desires....I will run off with Hunka into seclusion one day! Time has no meaning because I am still young! Ok... So My Tits don't listen...There are Dr's for that! I'm NOT Someones Grandma and I don't feel bad that I'm not so concerned with being someones Grandma someday either...Several of my Friends are Grandparents, Frankly to consider my self a Granny? Well that seems almost ludicrous to me. My carpet don't match the drapes people! The Drapery is gray with out dye...the carpet ain't, well whats left of it anyway! I hear downstairs turns gray too...You know in Granny Type Folks that is. 
Neither David nor I care to much if we never become Grandparents! AND Not because we wanna keep the Carpet a luxurious Ebony Hue ... Really! I just don't see myself any different then I did at 25. (It took everything I had to not type 17....I really wanted to type 17 People!) That's not to say that if our Married child or unmarried children decide to spawn seeds, Demon or otherwise, that we wont feel anything for their off spring. I'm sure my entire prospective will change when that happens, I'm just saying, that if it never happens, Id be ok with it!
I have a 15 year old to get out of the house and then I do believe I'm checking the Fuck out! Luggage and Hunka In tow... Im off to some unknown Island where Earthquakes of an 8pt magnitude hit or Tsunami's are a true fear!
Just send me pictures of the Grand-kids....They'll still have a Grand-Dad on the Mainland....After all he'll still be raising his last child...Shes only 7 Months!
Funny how a death makes you realize you want to live!
So I wish you all LIFE! Lots and Lots of Life!
Thats all....
~Muffin
Oh yeah heres a song...Sing along if ya want too!
Ha Ha... I just taught Hunka how to do Gay Math
Pina says:
Twills says,
Dear Space Saver,
Ew. If he doesn't want to back that shit up, tell him to fuck off. There is nothing worse than a close-talker. FYI, Octo-Man: If you can smell her breath, she can smell yours!
If you've already told him clearly and concisely, there isn't much else you can do if he won't get the hint. If he persists, consider a restraining order. He's giving me the creeps and I don't even know him. Gah!
Don't touch me,
Twills
Dear TMA,
I'm sorry your friend doesn't understand clear communication! Perhaps you have a wingman that can step in and or up to the plate and advise him that his unwanted advances will no longer be tolerated? Or sadly perhaps, it is time to close the door on that relationship? I do think it is wise to address the fact that with the friend gone from your life the attention and the advances no longer there you may find your ego missing the friend! Every girl likes to know they are attractive to someone!
The Muffin thinks you're adorable!
Pina says;
If you are willing to continue with your husband's new fetish, then there are some things you can do to tidy up and pretty up that spot. First, I suggest a Brazilian wax. Next, there are products on the market that you can use at home to get rid of any staining or discolor. You don't think porn stars are born with sparkling clean anuses, do you? There is work involved. If you are not comfortable with doing a home job, seek out a professional cosmetician or esthetician that knows what she is doing. Keep up with the landscaping on a regular basis, and you and hubby can go back to exploring and expanding your sex life. Good Luck!
Twills says:
Dear Yes! Yes! Yes! Hole,
Turn off the fucking lights for eff's sake if you're so self-conscious. I'm pretty sure he's seen Uranus before if he's already been using his telescope, get my drift? I bet you ask him if you look fat in your clothes before you go out, don't you? Then you get sulky if he says yes?
He's a man. He'd let the dog service him if he thought he'd get away with it. Fuck. The End!
That's all,
Twills
XOXO
Dear NNH,
What Hot Yoga Move did you get into to see the Poop Shoot? So now that you've seen the the Hershey Highway Up Close and Reversed (Objects in the mirror are closer then they appear and are now right to left or written backwards...) in comparison to before... what changed your mind other then its Ugly Betty(Notice the spelling ladies) Appearance? 'Cuz, unless you are busting out the Hot Yoga Move ( ...and I highly advise against that shizzzz especially in the middle of the required Anal Breathing Exercise....After all one would think having something poking around Colonville requires at least on impact some concentration and deep slow breathing....From What Ive Seen in Movies....) You aren't Seeing anything other then whats in front of you? Consider that his attraction isn't the the look of the Chocolate Star Fish but rather the Size of its shell! I also say good for you for keeping it adventurous!
The Not That Limber Muffin!
So concludes another fun-filled edition of Betties Day. You have woes, we have answers; we'd be willing to part with them for free. Let's meet back here again next week, same place, same time. Shall we?
Oh We aren't done Twills~~~~~~
******What a Bettie must put Up With******
A snippet from: a behind the scenes look... a Glare actually... of the Pissy Betties that I love so dear! And a Few weeks ago I was called a Biotch...Listen readers....We all are victims of the Cathouse! Twills ~I love you! Thanks for your worry of me ~The Found Muffin!
Peee Essss....Don't you dare delete the behind the scenes ....that's censorship and in America we don't stand for it!
If you did notice that we're missing our Muffin this week (No your Not), it's because she's come down with a raging case of The Clap (applause light is in fact lighted!) and can't sit down long enough to type at her desk. Oh, it burns! (Can Sit...did Sit....There is a slight itch though....) Send Muff's muff some positive vibes, please. Along with some antibiotics.
(Save the Antibiotics for Twill's next rage with the Flu....Its Bike Week In Daytona Babies and The Muffins Been Working the Corner! Oh Wait....maybe you should send the meds!...Muffin missed her conference call But....I must work when the customer seeks a Muffin!)
Images used because they're quite badass, from Natalie Dee.
Well, better late than never I always say. Tune in next week for another fun filled edition of Betties Day. ~Twills~ ~Pina~ ~Muffin~
