Meet Your Bettie's...A Muffin Perspective

Let Muffin Introduce you to the Bettie's:
In the Beginning there were Two and it squared and now there are Four:

To Start: A Pina and a Twills ...No they are the not ships that brought the pilgrims to the new world you assholes...They are the "Betties" ~ "One for the Road" ~ "Blog Whores"~ with reputations to match. Who's pen-man-ships are delivered with humor and smack, not sweaty, diseased stowaways, seeking a better life in the land of fruit and plenty! They're frickin Canadian for Christ sake! You think they wanna stow away and loose their health care?

Pina~ a spinster drunk, who lets her cat get stoned on the nip, has nothing better to do then smoke like a chimney all day...all the while pondering why she cant tell her mom her periods late! Shes not Pregnant...
You have to have sex to get pregnant...I dont know if shes ever had sex...Listen she'll tell you the womb is barren, she told me the first time we spoke...Hey you whiner, have a teenager hang out for a few days, you'll not find that such a bad thing....Stop Braggin! I'm thinking that the reason she has never given birth is she cant come to terms with discussing her menstrual cycles, and in order to intentionally become pregnant you do need to discuss the cause and effect of your period! Plus, you cant get pregnant "Mary" if you don't screw! (Im projecting a little, sorry Christian readers and we can debate this later, Im not sure Mary didn't hook up with God outside the feed store and get it on!)
Pina, put down the "Rabbit", find you a man, and get you some already!

Twills~ A "MILFY" Canadian House wife- Thats the title she gave herself...Listen up buttercup, to be "milfy": other people give you the title...You egotistical wench!
So you look like a throw back of a 1920's swinger pin up girl with great hair, and your kids are absolutely adorable, funny, and precocious....You got lucky! Oh...and your husband has great genes...and as you have pointed out and on more then one occasion he has great JEANS! I bet if you didn't put out on the first date you wouldn't have gotten pregnant, and the "Milfy House Wife" of your DILF would look all together differently then you do now! A trapped man will always succumb to his surroundings! Jealous Much?

Our Third: Char- Who are you? Do you even exist? I heard a rumor you live in the Sunshine State...me too Bitch, we should do lunch or some shizzzzzz!


and the Fourth-Me!... Muffin!...Bransfun!...Bransalicious!... Yours Truly!...The Unofficial Mayor of Yoville.... I'm simply Fabulous as you all already know and I'm Wicked with my keyboard!

XO Muffin says~ Bring it Betties!