Monday, January 11, 2010

Top Ten Reasons Why I Can't be a 'Mommy Blogger'

1) I'm kind of self-absorbed

2) I want to tell Calliou to "Fuck off"

3) There really isn't enough time in the day to write down all of the funny shit they say *note to self: buy tape recorder*

4) I can't refrain from making sarcastic comments or pointing out fallacies in logic while watching Nickolodeon.

5) I'm very, very fond of saying bad words.

6) It's becoming increasingly difficult for me to pretend that your kids are as cute and charming as my kids.

7) I'm pretty sure that Handy Manny is a demon in the sack.

8) It would detract from my busy online shopping schedule.

9) I'd much rather talk about smut.

10) I try to avoid other moms in real life, so why should I seek them out on the internet?

That's all,



  1. I probably agree with all of the above (and about myself), but I'll need to google Handy Manny to confirm.

    I also saw my cousin's week-old baby girl and had to stifle a gasp. She looks a little like Uncle Fester.

  2. All of these are valid reasons, but I can see where you would want to curb stomp Calliou. When I used to sit my goddaughter, Treehouse was on the entire time. Toopy and Binoo scare the ever loving crap out of me.

  3. I once gasped accidentally when seeing someone's baby for the first time. So I tried to cover it up by saying, "Now there's a baby!", in a sing-song voice.

    Toopy and Binoo should die.

  4. Perfect cover-up on the baby thing!

  5. I'm with you on 2, 5 and 10.
    I'll never be able to look at Handy Manny the same again.....

  6. My youngest is 15 and Im kinda Digging the Jersey Shore! I got nothing for Manny and the Caribou or whatever that is!

  7. You are women after my own heart, sigh. Toopy and Binou, oh the nasty, nasty words I have for those two freaks. Caillou is not allowed in my house. I did the Caillou thing for two years, along with the Barney thing, I've put in my time. My youngest can suck it up. She's better off not knowing them.

    We're preparing a road trip to go punish the jerks who came up with Polly Pocket, Petshop, and Pokemon, we have some seats available if anyone wants to make a few more stops.


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