Sunday, January 10, 2010

All right, ladies, and gentlemen of that sexual persuasion, I have found him, and you will all first be dying with jealousy, and secondly, any of you with a little bit of balls will try to steal him away.

I'm telling you all right now, it ain't gonna happen. He found me, and I feel like Cinderella.

I have signed up (and quit) several on-line dating sites, simply because the men they sent me either bragged about their gun collection, or their prowess as a lover.

Most of them were barrel shaped and drove a truck.

Now I'm not being a bitch, but when they put in that they would rather watch UFC on Spike TV rather than read a book - one was actually truthful and said that the last time he had read a "book-book" was in high school.(He was 45) I'm sorry, but I have a problem with that.

It is absolutely opposite of both my personality AND my interests that I listed. These were what the computer found as compatible traits?

I guess I just don't have 29 points of compatibility with anyone.

The men that did send me communications sent messages like " U R Hawt. Wanna grab a beer?"

Now it may sound snooty or even snotty, but if you can't be bothered to type out the whole word, I don't have time to read your vanity license plate spelling.
(these were also usually the average to even above average looking guys, with an amazing gun collection, which I would be willing to bet is in the bedroom where he does his "magic lover" tricks. Written by someone I was "matched with." Yeep!

I think internet dating can work.

I think that you can meet someone on line and have a relationship. I have several friends that I consider my friends in the same way as I do the people that live ten minutes from me.

I even dated someone I met on a social network. It didn't work out, but there were parts of it that were as good or better than some of the relationships I have had with men I have met where I live.

So now that I have rambled on more than I probably needed to (you can always leave if you want, you know that, right?)

OK. Just when I was ready to give up on online love, and I had canceled all my dating-match sites.....

I received a friend request on facebook from a man who opened his request by telling me that he thought I was beautiful, and based on my status updates and applications, I seem like a very bright woman.

Anything that starts out like that is creepy for sure. *shudders*

This is because first of all, I don't think I have any pictures of me up anymore because I took them all down to avoid creeps, which means he's been scoping for a while, and it also means I didn't have my privacy settings up properly.

However, if I have found my dream man because of that oversight, I can live with it.

His friend request went on to tell me that he plays WOW, and several other games I
have never heard of. (the WOW was enough, he could have and should have stopped there.)

I pretty much stopped reading, because he was kinda scaring me with how long and detailed his message was. I did pick up a few more details, like his Mom is his best friend, he reads Science Fiction and loves Anime, especially the violent stuff. God, that means he could like Anime porn.

I know that you may all be thinking what a shallow bitch I am, but come on, I didn't have one thing in common with this guy, and here he was, trying to pick me up, for free, on facebook.

I guess I am a little shallow, because I changed my mind in a big hurry when I saw this posted at the bottom of his message:

Tell me that that picture is not enough to make those of you in super committed, happy marriages etc. a little drooly that he picked me. Meow!!

I haven't responded to his friend request, because I'm not even sure where to start.

But I'm going to be completely honest with you...When I said it was like Cinderella....I was lying.

I'm scared.

I also made sure I have every block and privacy setting at ten or whatever the most private is.

Wouldn't you?


  1. I tried OKCupid for a bit. It was fun... but only because some of the message boards took no prisoners. Interacting side-by-side seemed more productive that actual one-on-one conversations. I used to get really peeved at men suddenly popping up on IM. There should be channels and endurance tests to pass.

  2. I think I spit tea all over my monitor when I saw his picture. I got a mail from someone on Facebook like that before, except he was actually hot. Still, I blocked his hot ass. ;) Buy the "Costco sized" box of cyber condoms, for later.

  3. The picture was a shocker for me too. I just sat here and gaped. I guess I know where my appeal lies.

  4. Wow! Im Jealous! If you don't want him I surely do! AND nothing is finer then a man who plays VR Games such as WOW~ Means he prefers to ride woolly mammoths while killing garden gnomes rather then me! Its a win win if he can afford to pay my rent I say! PFFT!

  5. Wow I just got the goose bumbs.. NO COMMENT...


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