Wednesdays: Why People Suck

The weather is warming up in my part of Canada.  This is a really long process it seems, but we're getting there, finally.  I tend to dress in layers.  Tank, shirt, sweater, jacket... that sort of deal.  You need to do this, because you never know when you're going to start sweating, or when you'll catch a cool breeze and the headlights come on.  What?  It happens!

Since the mornings are still so cold and the afternoons are sometimes sweltering, you do run the risk of breaking out into a sweat before you even realise that you need to remove a layer, however.  You've got to watch out for that because no one wants a Milf with sweaty armpits!  Decidedly not hot.

There is always that one asshole though.  The kind of asshole who will look at your Milfy flop-proof outfit, and that asshole will say, "Aren't you hot?"  Asshole, who the fuck cares?  Of course I'm *hot*, though not temperature-wise.  I am fucking vampire, okay?  I'm a lizard!  I have Renaud's Disease!  I'm perpetually cold and it matches well with my cold, black heart you fecking eejit!  I was a cutter and my arms are ugly from the scars!  I have tattoos and I'm on the way to the nursing home!  My body does not contain fully-oxygenated blood and I have bad circulation combined with low blood pressure!  I don't feel like taking this jacket off because it's new and it defines my waist nicely and makes me look thinner!  Plus I spilled mustard on my boobs at lunch.

Pick one or more of the above.  Does it matter to you if I'm feeling warm in my clothing?  It is none of your damned business if I'm hot.  Or cold.  Or full of chicken pox!

It's Wednesday, and on Wednesdays we tell the truth.  People who ask other people whether or not they are hot?  They suck.  Tell me, minions.  Who sucks?

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Anonymous Monday

Monday, minions!  I'm way too chipper for a Monday.  It's almost as if I woke up and jumped out of bed like a poptart jumps out of a toaster.  Clearly there is something wrong with me!  Where is my bitch?

Let us make that the question of the day.  Where is your bitch and why didn't she show up?  

That's all,

The Betties

XOXO(enjoy the eye candy)

Betties Q & A

Happy Friday!D  No foreplay today, we'll proceed right to the main event.  You send us your questions to laynie2@gmail.com, and we answer them here on Fridays.  Keep the mail coming!  We like your feedback as much as we like your comments each week.

Dear Betties,

OMG!  I just caught my neighbour's kid making out in the back yard...  She's 14!!!!!  Should I tell?..... Every teenager sneaks out, right?  

Signed,

Nosy Parker

Twills Says:

Dear Nosy Bitch,

Lighten up!  As long as it seems like she's consenting then there's not an issue.  If they were fucking in the back yard, then perhaps I'd say something, even though it would still be none of my business.  If you turn her in now then you're kind of an asshole.  Don't you remember what it was like to be 14?  Leave the poor girl alone!

Pina says:
I'm with Twills on this one. Unless the girl was making out with your husband or the family dog, why are you watching anyhow? How do you know her parents don't already know?Basically, this is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS and no one likes a nosy twat for a neighbour.

Dear Betties,

My husband and I have been married for 15 yrs now, and I am starting to feel like the marriage is slipping.  We don't do things together anymore; we hardly talk and we never make love more than once a month.  I am still in love with him and want to save my marriage; what should I do?

Signed,

Stalemate

Twills says:

Dear Stale,

Try telling him the truth about how you feel.  Obviously you've been together a long ass time, you should be able to tell him anything at this point without fear.  I'm sure that if he were aware of how you are feeling, you could both take active steps to improve your relationship and to reconnect on a different level.

Whoa!  Look at me with the grown up advice!  If that doesn't work, offer to swing.  I'm pretty sure watching you fuck his best friend while he fucks your best friend would bring the spice back into the relationship real fast.

Pina says:
Dear Stale;
Communication is key in this issue. If you have been married for 15 (I am assuming good) years, than you should be able to tell him how you feel, see how he is feeling, and perhaps talk about what you can do as a couple to improve each others feelings on the whole subject..
Of course there is always the chance that it is over for him, he's doing his secretary, and he just hasn't had the balls to tell you. If that is the case, get yourself a good lawyer and take the cheating bastard for everything you can.

Well, here endeth another week of sage advice from The Betties. You may ask what qualifies us to give anyone advice and here's why- it has happened to us. All of it.
We have been cheated on, lied to and may have been on the bad guy side of some issues. So, we feel with all our life experience, we can give good, honest advice.
Don't dig the advice? What are you still reading for anyhow?
Until the next batch of questions comes in to Laynie2@gmail.com, try to play nice with each other and we will be back next week with more extremely helpful advice.

Love;
The Betties

XOXO (You could lose an eye trying to touch us)

Wednesdays: What Sucks?

Good morning minions!  I'm willing to bet that because it's Wednesday, and on Wednesdays we tell the truth, that you're wondering why today sucks.  Am I right?  Here at One For the Road, we don't just wait for you to wonder what sucks, we just tell you; this week however, we're going to let someone else tell The Betties what sucks.

Loyal reader Louminator seems to know, as he made this comment on Monday:

Jacob Lewis said...

I can tell you What Sucks on Wednesday. No blogs from the Betties! Get better already!

Well Lou, to tell you the truth there are not enough antibiotics in the world to keep us Betties in fine form it seems.  So today, the thing that sucks is that The Betties have been neglecting you.  How will you ever function without at least a weekly dose of snark?  You need more Milf Lessons!  Haven't you been dying to know the answers to all of the love questions you've been sending to laynie2@gmail.com?

The Betties have been remiss, if you must know.  We've been neglecting your mental health, we've been letting you drive your kids to school in your minivan wearing pajama bottoms.  One of you was thinking of going to the salon to get The Kate Gosselin hacked onto your head!  For shame!  Don't do it, bitches!  The Betties are back, and there's a change coming.

Now minions, it's Wednesday.  What sucks for you, right here, right now?  We need to know these things, and we need to know them now.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Again, still dealing with family health issues, there will be no anonymous Monday. Sorry, everyone, I know how disappointed you are.
See you Wednesday for What Sucks Wednesday.

Until then, beat it, lurkers!

Love, The Betties.
XOXO (I'll beat you with a pack of ribs if you touch me)

On this fine day, The Betties would like to wish you all a very happy Mother's Day.  We hope you received the gift of multiple orgasms with your breakfast in bed.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Betties Q & A

Due to a family medical emergency, the Betties will not be answering any questions today, but we will be back here next week at the same time, same snark.

Love,

The Betties.

XOXO (Get that needle away from my butt!!)